By Dan Geddes
WASHINGTON - A new poll of 1,000 American adults reveals
that both conservatives and liberals believe it is possible to
"convert" other people to change their political orientation.
The recent Gallmausen poll found that more than 63% of
Americans believe that they can convince other people to adopt their position
through such rhetorical tactics as shouting at them, incessantly repeating themselves,
and vicious name-calling.
One conservative, Joe, 45, commented on the poll: "Yeah,
it's possible that some libtards are redeemable, if you dig deep enough. I
mean, I know they're mostly thick-headed idiots, but even dogs understand
things if you repeat it enough times. So there must be hope for these liberal
wingnuts, God willing."
Joe continued: "And personally, I think that they
secretly find it funny when we call them libtards. It's like
'liberal' and 'retard' combined. Libtard. Hilarious! How
can you argue with that?"
An average liberal, Suzie, 34, also reacted to the poll:
"Despite their general lack of education, I still hope that if
conservatives could just comprehend my message of strident idealism,
hipper-than-thou cultural references and utter disdain for their ridiculous religious
beliefs, then they would be converted to the progressive cause. They would
finally see the light and drop their troglodytic homophobia and 18th
century gun fetish."
While many political pundits lament the appalling decline in
American political discourse during the past thirty years, it is reassuring
that so many Americans still believe political discussion is worthwhile.
Read the rest at http://www.thesatirist.com/news/Conservatives_Liberals__20130329.html
