Support the Troops: US Troops to Be Quartered in Private Homes

 

By Dan Geddes, The Satirist

WASHINGTON - The Obama Administration announced today its new policy of quartering US troops and domestic security agents in private residences "for the safety of the people in these dangerous times."

Known as "Support the Troops," President Obama himself announced the new Executive Order.

"Let me be clear. This is a time of great national danger. The most effective way to stop another 9/11 or Newtown massacre before it starts is to move troops into private homes where they can protect the people right where they live."

"A large number of crimes are committed, planned and imagined in private residences every day. Why should we stand idly by while this happens? We must take pre-emptive action now, before it is too late."

Obama Administration spokesman Philip Frost provided more details: "The presence of troops and Stateside Security agents in private homes will deter people from crimes such as cheating on their taxes, illegally downloading videos, or planning to attend any future Occupy-style protests that may or may not occur."

Frost continued: "We would like to stress the voluntary nature of this program. When the US military and SWAT teams show up on your door requesting accommodation in full battle regalia, you may of course choose to opt out of the program."

Read the rest of the story at http://www.thesatirist.com/news/Support_the_Troops__20130401.html